How to get the most out of your coaching relationship

In Coaching for Leadership How the world greatest coaches help leaders learn, Don Grayson & Kerry Larson's chapter on 'How to make the most of the coaching relationship for the person being coached' give some very useful insights. This short summary is drawn from their thoughts.


Commitment

First - you must commit to the relationship and the process. Entering into the coaching relationship in a half hearted manner, or just because you have been asked to by your manager, will mean that you will miss the opportunity for real growth, learning and development.

A coaching relationship with a LifeTree coach is an opportunity for your own bespoke, individually designed learning and development process. Not an academic exercise, but grounded in practical reality, helping you deal with current issues, develop your strengths, and prepare you for your next career step.

Without individual vision and intention nothing happens. Growth and learning require personal change, so one of the first questions we ask prospective clients is, 'Are you willing to pay the price? Are you open to personal change so you can improve your leadership performance?'

One of the key roles a coach can play is to help you hold yourself accountable to your commitments. It's a partnership. The coach is not your manager. To the degree you commit to the relationship and the process is the degree of your learning and improvement.

To achieve great things, we all need a coach or mentor, a good partnership. You also need to commit to somebody that you are going to make it happen. It is not possible otherwise. A flashlight doesn't work with one battery, and none of us work to our maximum effectiveness alone.


Clear and realistic expectations

Some coaching does not succeed either because the expectations of the client were too high, or they were not high enough!
Your coach, if (s)he is good, will be able to help you here


Be open

Or another way of putting this is don't be defensive!
For many people, their first coaching relationship with a LifeTree coach


Take ownership

Don't be passive in the relationship or process. Make time to take action on the areas that emerge from the coaching conversations.


Go for it!

Don't play it safe. You might be tempted to minimise the development areas, or even write them off. 'Well, I'm not perfect but I'm doing ok' and other defensive responses actually inhibit learning. Be open to challenge yourself in the areas that are holding you back from being even more successful!


Involve Others

Get others involved in supporting you (as appropriate) - let your team (and some key others) know the areas you are focusing on and make time to ask them for feedback in real time. No need to make a big issue out of this, but make space to ask and listen to the response! You can recruit a team to help you improve!

"Until one is committed there is always hesitance, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans.

The moment one commit oneself, then providence moves too.

Multitudes of things occur to help that which otherwise could never occur. A stream of events issues from the decision. raising to one's favour all manner of unforeseen accidents,, meetings,, and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would come his way.

Whatever you can do or dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
-- Goethe


"A decision is made with the brain. A commitment is made with the heart. Therefore, a commitment is much deeper and more binding than a decision."
-- Nido Qubein